i went over with the intent to just get my things and leave without saying a word. but what i really wanted was to hug you and cry till i felt like everything was better. i wanted you tell me that everything would be okay because no matter what you would be there for me even as friends.

i dont even know what to do anymore. its like we barely care or at least you do. and this time i wanted to try something new and see how long it would take me to cave in to talk to you and at this point it just showing that we both arent doing anything to fix this. i feel like i gave you so much of myself and im just waiting for you to do the same or maybe tell me what i mean to you or i dont even know anymore. im tired of crying myself to sleep.

lately a few friends have been coming to me seeking help and i try my best to say what i think is right. and honestly i dont mind what so ever, its keeping me from thinking about my own problems. but sometimes i get a little jealous of what my friends will do just to prove to someone how much they loved them. it just makes me realize that i dont feel like someone would do that for me and honestly it makes me feel real lonely.

youre always in the middle of something that makes you too busy to pick up the phone and talk to me. then you complain that i dont tell you anything. its like i can never do anything to make you happy.

as soon as it isnt just us two anymore, youre a whole different person. and i hate that.