gahh...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 @ 10:16 PM
gahh i cant wait. cape cod for the weekend and tomorrow should be fun. =]
its been a while since i last blogged. sorry. hehe.
ive done lot of thinking and i finally know what to do i think. lol. lets just hope this is the right thing for me and whoever else involved.
oh gawd just thinking about him gives me the chills. GAWD.
hope whispers... lifes a bitch.
-but sometimes its just so AMAZING. ;]
the unknown...
Thursday, July 23, 2009 @ 1:15 AM
it sucks we no longer talk because theres so much i would love to tell you and i know it would make you feel better, you and your family. i guess its whatever. if you read this and want to know you know where you can find me.
p.s. i dont hate you but i no longer have that love for you.
hope whispers... this can either be beautiful or ugly.
-it can lean both ways just depends on how you see it.
"jesus ma..."
Monday, July 20, 2009 @ 10:55 PM
ahaha this was the most greatest weekend in a long ass time. oh gawd. soo much happened. i got to meet new people and i got closer to some. OH and i finally got my fucking lip pierced and ravie got hers done too. shits fucking amazing. so much greatness happened this weekend. it was really much needed.
"enjoy big boy"
oh gawd those three words can never get old. LOL.
hope whispers... SKEETER EATER.
-oh gawd priceless weekend. =]
wishes...
Thursday, July 16, 2009 @ 3:16 PM
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
hope whispers... sometimes they do come true.
-just sometimes though.
high hopes...
12:37 PM
it truly doesnt bother when you say all those things. it just makes me gain more strength. i still have high hopes for me and my kid. its perfectly fine.
blahhh i cant want for tomorrow and this weekend. its gonna be a blast and i dont give a shit what happens. nothing going to bring me down. shit. =]
man oh man i hope ravie gets something done with me but it will be alright if she doesnt cus thats not going to stop me from getting what i want.
we all have to live on the edge sometimes. its fun to be bad. but damnn i am bad. thanks lita. =]
hope whispers... live life how you want to.
-yes i will. and dont let anythign stop you. =]
who knows...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
OH GAWD WHAT AM I PUTTING MYSELF INTO. this can either go great or horrible. i gotta really think this over even though if this were to happen to me like 2 years ago i would of just jumped on the situation and wouldnt give a shit about anything.
hope whispers... how would you like to be her.
-i wouldnt. but im me not her. =]
dangg...
4:41 PM
its been a while since i last talk to you. it was really nice and i believe this was a sign. i miss you. we have to hang out like old times again.
the pieces are finally falling into place. and thats a good things.
its still pretty early in this week but i kinda cant wait for this weekend. its gonna be great i hope.
hope whispers... things always come to an end.
-we just gotta learn how to cope with it. =]
hey baby.. ;]
Tuesday, July 14, 2009 @ 12:08 AM
damnnn i feel like i should not be weighing 100 pounds right now.. i have been eating soo much and still no change in weight. lets just see how this doctors appointment goes tomorrow. so i was talking to lita about this. if i can start working again my goal is prolly to move out by the end of this year. if everything goes as well as i plan it to. im set and ready to go. =]
hey baby. how you doing? ;]
haha i love you lita.
hope whispers... fucking amazing.
-what can go wrong now. =]
fucking pumped...
Monday, July 13, 2009 @ 4:51 PM
so last night i got a phone call from my lovely cousins in Cali. =] they miss me and want me to come during Christmas break. i know its still pretty far away but hey why not. and when im out there i think im going to go college hunting. and im pretty sure some readers are like wtf collage when you might die. well just in case miracles happen. =] OH and tomorrow i go to the doctors and i get to see if im getting better so i can get my job back. =] YAY getting paid 17.50 is fucking amazing. thats like a grand a week. shits amazing.
hope whispers... just keep smiling.
-i will even through all this bullshit.
fucking amazing...
Saturday, July 11, 2009 @ 12:16 AM
today overall was a fucking great ass day. =] went shopping basically all day. got another dress =] and a new shirt and a jacket that i have to say i love them all but its a bummer cus i went out to buy me some new shoes. yess more than one pair. =] but i didnt get any shoes because i was caught up with buying me new clothes. oh well theres always tomorrow when my mommy wants to bring me shopping and i dont have to waste my own money. =]
so other than shopping i broke the news the official news to my family and they took it a lot better than i thought they would. im glad they understand im going through a lot with everything thats just been crashing down.
i wish i could say his family took it the same way my family did or i wish i could say he would take it the same way as other people did. i wish you would just realize im not doing this to like ruin your life, i didnt choose this for us. i didnt mean any of it but i cant make it any better if you dont realize it is just as much of your fault as it is mine. we are both at fault when it comes to this baby. we both decided to do things that would lead to this pregnancy. i just wish you would realize it doesnt matter if you are 17 or 18 to tell your parents. no matter what age you are or how you feel, we are still having this baby. yeah we might not be together and thats whatever but we still have a baby coming on the way. and we have to learn how to be civil to each other and learn to grow up a little bit. i had to be the bigger person and at least inform your parents. its the only right thing to do. i think its better telling them now then waiting months and months. im pretty sure they would be more pissed if i came knocking at your door with a little surprise.
we all say things out of anger and some things we mean and some we dont but its the only way to release all the tense thing we have in mind and yes it hurts and it fucking sucks. but we all just gotta learn how to cope with things and not take such thoughts to the head because sometimes over thinking shit can make someone fucking go crazy. these last 5 months have helped me as a person realize so many things. i guess its true when they say things happen for a reason. everything has helped me gain so much more strength and its helped me be more understanding to others and things around me.
this blog entry is WAYYY longer than i wanted it to be. so i guess thats it for now guys and thanks for reading. =]
current weight - 100 lbs.
weeks - just about 10 weeks.
weeks - just about 10 weeks.
hope whispers... learn how to grow up a little.
-hell you need it. ;]
How...
Thursday, July 9, 2009 @ 12:41 PM
But my baby I, just really wanna know
How did we get so mean?
How do we just move on?
How do you feel in the morning
When it comes and everything's undone?
Is it cause we wanna be free?
Well that's not me
Normally I'm so strong
I just can't wake up on the floor
Like a thousand times before
Knowing that forever won't be
FUPA...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009 @ 5:46 PM
L0VEgoes0N (1:20:08 AM): soukan you got a FUPA
"Soukan." (1:20:16 AM): i got a furby?
"Soukan." (1:20:26 AM): that would be a good name for a furby
"Soukan." (1:20:27 AM): its cute
"Soukan." (1:20:28 AM): fupa
"Soukan." (1:20:31 AM): LOL
L0VEgoes0N (1:20:49 AM): ewww FUPA litterally
Fat Upper Private Area.
he just keeps making things better and better. =]
he just keeps making things better and better. =]
that made me just feel so much better.
FUCK YOU...
Monday, July 6, 2009 @ 11:28 PM
i cant believe you would even say shit like that especially now and after i was there for you. i cant believe you would accuse me of that. what the fuck are you thinking. right now i hate you. UGHHH.
hope whispers... go fucking die.
-i dont give a shit.
bitch...
Saturday, July 4, 2009 @ 12:58 PM
so idk. this is complete bullshit.
hope whispers... totally bullshit.
-i agree.